Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
