I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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