The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
