thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
