youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
