theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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