Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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