Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My breasts were aching with rage.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
