stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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