you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
