the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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