Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
