This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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