I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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