you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
