I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
