I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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