Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
