So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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