Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
