so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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