You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
