I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
