I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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