Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
