Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
