Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
