I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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