Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
