We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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