It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
