why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
