but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Randomize
