woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
