So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
