South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
