I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize
