Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
