went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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