She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It's just like the Real World with babies
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
