I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
