I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
