i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
