I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
