babies were throwing up all over the place
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Randomize
