i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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