The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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