I wish i was in the wii world.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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