He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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