He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
