Got a toothbrush?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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