and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
