Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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